


Watch your profanity

by Anatheshrimp (AnaKN2004)



Series: Fire child and his muffin dad [3]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Causing Chaos, Dad!skeppy, First Words, Fluff, Humour, Kid Fic, Kid!sapnap, M/M, No beta we die like sally the fish, dadboyhalo, excuse me, fire gremlin baby really, firmly believe wilbur ate her btw, first word gone wrong, its late, once again, parenting, screw ups, skeppys trying alright, wrote this instead of studying for my finals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29741874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaKN2004/pseuds/Anatheshrimp
Summary: The situation would be hilarious if Skeppy wasn't hit by the fact Bad would be absolutely furious if he found out Sapnaps first word was a curse of all things. Sure there were worse words but-Sapnaps first word.Skeppy paused, his dread growing tenfold at the realization. Sapnap babbled on obliviously, occasionally using the curse, which only added to his steadily growing panic.He was so dead.(Obligatory first word fic for the series :)))
Relationships: Darryl Noveschosch & Sapnap, Zak Ahmed & Sapnap, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Series: Fire child and his muffin dad [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173641
Comments: 24
Kudos: 441





	Watch your profanity

**Author's Note:**

> *tired finger guns*  
> hope ya like it, I'm tired and sleepy and its late, I hope this isn't too terrible  
> I had to- first word fic was a necessity.  
> I go crash into bed now, I'll tweak the technical stuff when i wake up <333

“C’mon sapnap say it, say Bad ”

“Sapnap say skeppy _,_ it's easier than saying bad. Skeppy sounds so much cooler”

“We both know its not”

The one-year-old blinked boy blinked, looking up at the both of them for a moment before turning back to stacking his toy blocks haphazardly, clearly not interested. Skeppy and bad glared at each other childishly, the crystal hybrid crossed his arms with a huff “I bet you he’s going to say skeppy first”

“Since when was this a bet?” Bad frowned, sitting down on his knees and adding a block to whatever structure Sapnap was attempting to build “Sapnap’s going to say bad first. Aren’t you?” he cooed softly at the toddler. Skeppy rolled his eyes.

Sapnap paused, face scrunching in concentration “Buh”

“Almost there” bad smiled widely, casting a triumphant glance at Skeppy “Bah-duh, can you give it another try buddy?”

“Buh”

“Give up Bad, he isn’t going to say it” Skeppy said, sitting down beside him “Sapnap say skeppy” the toddler didn’t answer, choosing instead to knock down what he had built with a giggle. Bad sighed as he picked a block up and handed it back to him “You really like destroying stuff don’t you” his lips curled into a small smile when Sapnap cocked his head almost sheepishly “Chaotic little trouble maker”

Sapnap giggled again, chucking the block away. It managed to hit skeppy right on the forehead and the dark haired man squawked in surprise, glaring at the toddler in indignation. Bad snorted “Nice aim”

“Don’t encourage him”

“I’m not, I’m just saying he has a nice aim” Bad shrugged, getting up and sparing a glance at the clock “Right- I have to go help Sam out with a few things, you guys stay out of trouble now alright?”

“We will” Skeppy reassured “I’m pretty sure we can last a few hours without burning the house down”

Bad grumbled, looking at the two of them unsurely “I don’t know about that, every Time I leave you guys alone you always manage to do _something_ ” he frowned, hesitantly walking over to the door, grabbing his trademark red and black hoodie “I’m not that far away, so if something happens call for me me”

“Just go Bad” Skeppy groaned, flopping backwards to lay on the carpeted floor. Sapnap took that as an invitation to chuck another block at him, which he managed to catch, much to the awe of the toddler “You're just nervous Sapnaps going to say my name before yours aren’t you?”

“What? No, of course I’m not” Bad protested, opening the door. He waved at Sapnap “Don’t be a muffin to Skeppy, I’ll be back in a few hours” Sapnap looked up at him with a small smile and imitated the wave, somehow smacking Skeppy in the face in the process.

Bad snorted, mumbling a fond ‘Love you’ before shutting the door behind him, leaving behind a now confused toddler and skeppy- who rubbed at his cheek with a tired _‘_ ow _’._ Sapnap frowned, eyes fixed on the shut door, making a reaching motion towards it with his hand, skeppy rolled over noticing the toddlers expression.

Skeppy said, gently extended his hand to pat Sapnaps back “Looks like its going to be you and me for a while bud. How about I get us both something to crunch on? You hungry?”

He frowned when the toddler didn't reply, instead making distressed grabby motions with his hands, towards the door. Skeppy sat up and carefully picked up the toddler, noticing the suddenly tear filled brown eyes. Sapnap tended to get easily upset when one of them wasn’t around- especially Bad. It was painful to see him cry out for them to come back and both skeppy and bad had to remind themselves it was necessary to be firm whenever they had to leave.

“Don’t cry buddy, he’ll be back before you know it” Skeppy whispered comfortingly, rubbing slow circles on sapnaps back. Sapnap sniffled, giving the door another hopeful glance before pouting petulantly. Skeppy chuckled, standing up and heading towards the kitchen “Let's find you something to eat”

Once he had plopped Sapnap down in his highchair, skeppy opened a cabinet, to look for a quick something for the toddler to munch on. Bad would never let him hear the end of it if he ruined their appetites for dinner. Rummaging absentmindedly through the top shelf, skeppy smiled when he felt the familiar crinkle of a packet of chips. He’d get Sapnap some cool caramel pudding and maybe re-read him a story from a heavy old book of fairy tales Bad had found. Maybe that would cheer up Sapnap. Skeppy did get worried at the almost evil glimmer that his eyes would take at the pictures of fire-breathing dragons. Bad just shook his head in amusement at his absurd claims, gave Sapnap a sweet kiss on the cheek and called him a ‘dramatic muffinhead’. 

Skeppy tugged at the packet again, it was lodged between something in the back of the shelf and pretty hard to see. Irritation slowly welling up in him he gave it a few more abrupt tugs- before tightening his hold on he edge and sharply yanking it as hard as it could.

That proved to be a stupid action when almost everything the shelf, propelled by the movement, launched right out of the shelf all together. A cereal box smacked him painfully on the face and skeppy hissed, staggering a few steps backwards.

_“Shit-”_ He cursed, rubbing at his forehead with a grimace and kicking the offending cereal box a few inches away out of pure spite. What was up with things hitting him in the face today?

“Shit!” 

Skeppy froze, eyes comically widening in pure dread. He turned around quickly, meeting the eyes of the now grinning toddler, who repeated what Skeppy hoped was something he just misheard- 

Sapnap clapped his hands in unfiltered joy, repeating the offensive word another time “Shit!”

"Oh no, no, no, _no-"_ Skeppy shook his head frantically, quickly stumbling his way across to the toddler "Don't say that word-"

"Shit?" Sapnap tilted his head, almost questioningly and Skeppy let out a frustrated noise, bending down with the most pleading expression " _Please_ don't use that word buddy. It's a no-no word alright? You can't use it-" he explained, knowing very well Sapnap didn't understand what he just said "Oh god, what am I-"

  
  


"Shit!" 

  
  


The situation would be hilarious if Skeppy wasn't hit by the fact Bad would be absolutely furious if he found out Sapnaps first word was a curse of all things. Sure there were worse words but-

Sapnaps _first_ word.

Skeppy paused, his dread growing tenfold at the realization. Sapnap babbled on obliviously, occasionally using the curse, which only added to his steadily growing panic. 

He was so dead. All it took was Bad to catch a wind of it and the demon would be livid, even resorting to give him the cold shoulder for days and not once giving in to talk to him. A pissed off Bad was nothing to laugh about, it unsettled him like nothing else. The fact it was Sapnaps first word would make it so much worse. Skeppy took a deep breath to calm himself down, it's not like the toddler could remember the word for that long right? Kids forget easily- all he had to do was to find a good way to keep preoccupied until bad came back and it would turn out just fine.

Another cheerful _“Shit!”_ broke his chain of thoughts effectively, and he heaved a sigh - Maybe he needed some help with this.

  
  
  


* * *

“What am I supposed to do about this again?” Ant grumbled, eye twitching when Sapnap pulled at his whiskers particularly hard, but made no move to stop the toddler. Sapnap proceeded to poke at one of the cat hybrids furry ears, precariously balancing himself on Ants shoulders. The cat grumbled, making sure the fiery trouble maker didn't accidentally fall off by gently holding onto his ankle “Careful” 

He turned back his attention to skeppy, who was now pacing circles around the living room- more nervous than ever, occasionally stopping to run his hand through his already messed up dark hair with a long suffering sigh. Skeppy spared him a quick glance before muttering “I don’t know- I thought maybe you’d keep him distracted enough to forget that word.”

“How am I going to help with keeping him occupied- no wait don’t tell me” he rolled his eyes at the suddenly sheepish look that the crystal hybrid had “Its because he probably thinks I’m a walking plush toy isn’t it?”

“What? Pfft- No it's not- okay yeah fine, maybe that’s _one_ of the reasons” Skeppy hastily admitted, shoulders slumping “Didn’t help though, he still won't stop saying-”

“Shit” Sapnap chirped again, and Ant could see skeppy visibly spiral further down into his cloud of gloom. Honestly, he thought the whole thing was hilarious, but maybe collapsing into helpless laughter in front of Skeppy was a bad idea at the moment, not when the man looked like he was having a severe existential crisis.

“Please” Skeppy begged, peering at the toddler imploringly “I’ll do anything if you stop saying that word- what do you want? A new toy? Marshmallows? _Diamonds_??”

“Skeppy” Ant interjected “You need to calm down man, this isn’t that horrible. Sure you screwed up, but everyone screws up sometimes- it's not like you knew Sapnap would just somehow figure out how to say it”

“Bad’s never going to forgive me” the crystal hybrid whispered, slumping down onto his knees in defeat “I’m a horrible dad”

“Hey” the cat snapped, narrowing his eyes sharply. He scooted across the carpeted floor to Skeppy, gently separating Sapnap from his fur and placing him down “Don’t _ever_ say that again, you and Bad are the best dads. There's not a single person here that would think otherwise” 

Skeppy looked unconvinced and Ant nudged him playfully by the elbow, coaxing out a feeble smile from the man “I’m serious Skeppy, this was an understandable accident- Bad will understand. You know that he will”

“Yeah” Skeppy nodded hesitantly “I know”

A small hand came to rest on Skeppy’s knee, and he smiled, reaching out to pinch Sapnaps cheek. The toddler looked up at him inquisitively, as if to ask what was wrong. Skeppy chuckled softly, moving his hand to ruffle Sapnaps dark locks, smile unconsciously widening at the familiar disgruntled look he received in response. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Ant getting up and he turned to look at the cat hybrid with a grateful smile “Thanks Ant”

“Anytime” Ant said, hastily pawing at his now ruffled fur to fix it. It was quite messed up, sticking up in odd directions, thanks to Sapnap’s insistent need to make Ant go bald with all the insistent tugging. He walked over to the door, looking back and waving a goodbye at the two of them “I should probably head back now, goodnight guys”

Before he could reach for the knob, the door swung open, a familiar figure running into him with a surprised ‘oomf’. The figure lifted up his hood to peer up at him with confused green eyes, which quickly lit up in recognition shooting Ant a warm smile.

“Ant! When did you get here?”

Ant couldn’t help but crack a smile at his friend's infectious energy “Just stopped by to say hello, it's nice to see you Bad”

“You should have told me you were coming you muffinhead” Bad huffed lightly, shrugging off his cloak and neatly hanging it in the coat rack “I can still hustle up something for you to eat if you're staying for dinner, It’ll be fun! We could all-”

Bad was abruptly cut off when a tiny figure launched itself at the demon, firmly holding on to bads' leg. Bad to his credit didn’t appear too startled by the sudden attack, bending down to scoop Sapnap up with a giggle “You need to stop doing that buddy, somebody could fall”

“Buh”

“Mhm, almost you got it- Bad” Bad hummed when the toddler snuggled closer, looping his arms over bads shoulders. Skeppy walked over, nervously glancing at the two of them. He relaxed when Bad enthusiastically pulled him into the hug, the built up worry visibly melting away for a moment- until Sapnap began to babble again.

“B-Bad” 

Bad stilled, so did skeppy. Sapnap continued to repeat the new word cheerfully, clapping his hands in joy. Ant smirked, turning away with a fond shake of his head, he didn’t want to intrude on something this personal and sweet. As he shut the door behind him, he could hear Bad’s high pitched squeal and Skeppys hysterical laughter, both bursting out into celebratory cheering.

“He did it skeppy- he said his first word- oh my goodness sappy nappy, I am so proud of you” he mumbled, softly kissing the toddler on the forehead. His tone proud and eyes shining with love and pure glee. Sapnap giggled.

“His first-” skeppy paused, eyes softening as he grabbed them both in a giant hug, warm and fuzzy with pride “Guess you won the bet this time”

“I sure did” Bad teased, playfully reaching up to boop Skeppys nose, who stuck out his tounge at the demon “Aw don’t be mad skeppy- I’m sure he’s going to say your name next. Right? Can you say skeppy?”

“Sk-” Sapnap scrunched up his face in concentration, both bad and skeppy watched with bated breath when he tried again “Ske-”

“That's it- you nearly got it, come on Sapnap” Skeppy urged, smile growing “Ske-pi”

“Skep-S-”

Ant paused, he shouldn’t be eavesdropping but this was too good to miss. His ears twitched, trying to pick up any noise in the now hushed silence, only broken by the sound of crickets chirping in the chill of the dark night.

“S-Shit” Sapnap said proudly. Everything went eerily silent.

-And _that_ was his cue to leave.

He quickly turned on his heel before the inevitable consequences of whatever just happened, almost sprinting across the dirt path. Stifling helpless giggles at the offended gasp and sputtered explanations he could barely pick up from the distance.

Although, he had to stop to wheeze at the clear ‘ _language’_ that rang out for miles.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @anashrimp4  
> tumblr: Anatheshrimp  
> Rip skeppy, the word language did to him what the infinity glove did to half the population/j  
> leave a comment to let me know what you think! imma write more stuff for the chaos family but It might take a bit cause I have dreaded finals approaching oopsie-  
> Have a swell day!


End file.
